05-28-15 § 1 Comment
i just found a cicada shell outside and got excited. it was just a little shit of a thing, but a cicada nonetheless. in other words: it’s summer. i can’t wait for them to be sitting in every tree, screaming their desperate hellacious booty calls at a decibel level that could burst my eardrums, careening drunkenly through the nasty humidity with but one noble cause: to get fucked. just like me.
i had memorial day off, and then tuesday and wednesday too. 3 days in a row of not working is good and bad. less money, but more fun, which then also causes less money. i have $16 in my bank account even though i just got paid last friday. being poor is neat! although i shouldn’t have taken us out to red lobster when we were on our memorial day adventures, i don’t regret it because fucking crab legs and delicious alcoholic beverages, that’s why. momma needs her goofy juice! don’t deny an old witch her pleasures, or whatever, goddamnit
i also for some reason thought it was a good idea to go to our town’s public pool on memorial day with a bunch of open wounds on my body so now i’m pregnant and have west nile. that is how it works, don’t question me, i’m a doctor. we only stayed there for like an hour and a half because amanda was “cold”. BOOHOO BITCH. at least i got to swim around in a half-chlorinated sea of pubes and dead wasps for an hour though! after that we went to target so amanda could let me pick out hair dye for her and i accidentally made her a redhead WHOOPS SORRY AMANDA YOU’RE ME NOW WELCOME TO HELL. then we went to see the new poltergeist movie at 10:45 at night, we got there late, didn’t know it was 3-D, were the only ones in the theater and it was the worst movie ever. why remake that movie first of all but ugh we should have walked out and got our money back. regrets!
then on tuesday, chris appeared back into my life out of the blue and whisked me and mark away on an adventure to pittsburgh, ikea, and a japanese steakhouse. i love eating raw fish because i want to die! that day was fun too because i love being spontaneous and reckless and driving to pittsburgh for any reason at all. with no money. in someone else’s car. kill me.
this is getting boring, i came here to post pictures but oops a fuckin daisy all i did was blab about my boring existence. i feel like i don’t have the energy now to open up another tab, go to my flickr, and INSERT all that media because i’m so depressed i can barely breathe, but i should force myself to do it because i DESERVE TO SUFFER
i don’t want to go to work in two hours. for a four hour shift. $9 times 4 hours is $36. it isn’t even worth the gas it takes to get there. funnel my blood into a super soaker and shoot it into the depths of hell because i’ll be poor for the rest of my life.